I don't know about your office... but the bathrooms here are thankfully pretty clean. For the most part anyway. But every now and then I'm witness to disgusting acts by otherwise pretty normal people. I thought I'd just post up a quick note about how we can all make our bathroom experiences better...

3. Don't be gross.

If you like to pee in the stall, lift the seat. If I have to go in there and drop a log later in the day, I don't want to have to clean up your piss from the seat before I sit down. Not even the paper ass-gasket can save me from that mess. The courtesy flush... use it.

2. Flush the fucking toilet.

This goes for urinals AND stalls. I don't want to pee into your pee. It's gross. You're gross. I hate you. Flush the fucking toilet. If you're afraid of the handle, use your elbow (or your foot if in a stall). It's not hard.

1. Wash your fucking hands.

I can't believe this still needs to be brought up time and time again. What is wrong with people? How hard is it to take 20-30 seconds to wash your hands? Are you in that much of a hurry that you must run out of there as soon as you zip up your fly? GROSS. I feel so bad for anyone that has to shake hands with you later in the day - and for myself to now have to use a paper towel to open the door and leave the bathroom. Thank you again you sick fuck.

These things should really not have to be repeated considering that we're all (mostly) adults... but you know as well as I do, some people still don't get it.

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2 COMMENTS ON THIS POST To “3 Simple Bathroom Rules at Work”

  • Jim Smith

    April 26, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    I agree with all, and 50% of the last one.

    Poop = unsanitary, so yes, wash your fucking hands. I know people who don’t and that IS very gross.

    Pee = sanitary, so, honestly, i could give a shit less if you wash your hands. If I can drink my piss, i really dont care. Washing your hands after peeing is sort of like middle schoolers saying kissing gives you kooties, theres no factual basis on it, it’s merely what you personally feel is “icky”.

    Your penis is FAR LESS dirty than your hand and mouth or anywhere else on your body. I mean, its usually INSIDE your clothes.

    I just dont get why anyone gives a rats ass if they wash their hands after pissing, i really dont.

  • ack154

    April 26, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    It may be considered more sanitary than most things… but I still consider it gross. If anything b/c they’re handling their penis which has been tucked away in their pants all day, sweating and gross. It is basically like touching someone else’s penis. No thanks.